Zuhdi Family Pamulang
Z u h d i ~ f a m i l y

February 24, 2006

Pada Suatu Selasa

Hari Selasa kemarin adalah hari yang mengesankan buat Izza. Dari minggu lalu udah diumumin di sekolah, bahwa hari Selasa (21 Feb 06) anak-anak TK BDN bakal belajar di luar sekolah, alias jalan-jalan. Bahkan ada isu belajarnya nanti di McD. Siapa yang ulang tahun nih...?

Benar aja, pas selasa pagi sampe di sekolah, anak-anak satu sekolahan langsung diajak keluar sama bu guru (tentu sama para pengantar juga dong). Dan isu yang beredar tenyata bener. Mereka belajar di McD (waduuh, McD udah masuk pelajaran TK nih....). Rupanya hari itu TK BDN diundang buat ngunjungin salah satu cabang McD, dan ngelihat proses penyiapan makanan cepat saji itu.

Sampe di sana, anak-anak diajak tour di dapur McD dan ngelihat proses nyimpan dan nyiapin makanan. Tentu aja Izza dan kawan-kawan senang. Apalagi selesai kunjungan ke dapur, masing-masing dapat ice-cream McDonald, nyum.... enaknya... Habis itu, dapat sertifikat lagi. Saya ngga tahu pasti, apakah ini misi pendidikan atau misi marketingnya McD? atau mungkin kedua-duanya. Yang pasti, rombongan penganter juga jadi jajan deh. Padahal kan belom waktunya makan siang.

Habis dari McD, anak-anak boleh pulang. Lagian emang jam belajarnya udah habis kok. Tapi Izza dan mama ngga langsung pulang, tapi jalan sama Mayra (teman sekolahnya Izza) dan mamanya.

Acara setelah dari McD juga ngga kalah mengesankan. Ternyata Izza diajak mampir ke pasar tradisional (pasar inpres) dekat rumah, karena mama mau beli sesuatu. Kebetulan neneknya Mayra juga punya warung di pasar itu. Waktu mama dan mamanya Mayra belanja, Izza dan Mayra nunggu di warung neneknya Mayra. Sementara Mayra sibuk pura-pura belanja di warung neneknya, Izza diajak ngobrol sama sang nenek. Kira-kira begini obrolannya:

Nenek: "Izza rumahnya di mana?"
Izza: "Izza belum punya rumah, sekarang Izza sama mama tinggal di rumah eyang."
N: "??? O begitu? Memangnya rumahnya eyang Izza di mana?"
I: "Di komplek BNI"
N: "Izza punya kakak ngga?"
I: "ngga"
N: "punya adik?"
I: "ngga"
N: "Izza kepingin punya adik ngga?"
I: (ngangguk)
N: "kalo gitu, bilang aja sama mama Izza minta adik."
I: "Ngga mungkin"
N: "Kenapa?"
I: "Karena papanya Izza sekarang ngga ada di sini"
N: ???
N: "Emangnya papanya Izza lagi ke mana?"
I: "Papanya Izza sekarang di Montreal"
N: "Ooo, papanya Izza lagi di Maroko" (waduh... jauh amat dari Montreal ke Maroko).
I: "Bukaaaan, Montreal"
N: "Ooo iya..."

Ngga lama kemudian mama dan mamanya Mayra kembali dari tempat belanja. Mamanya Mayra sibuk ngembaliin barang-barang dagangan yang diambil sama Mayra. Sementara mamanya Izza ngedengerin komentar dari Neneknya Mayra. Dia cerita bahwa dia habis ngobrol sama Izza. Trus Izza bilang papanya lagi di Maroko.

Lalu mama pun klarifikasi: "Bukan Maroko bu, tapi Montreal". (lagian rasanya Izza juga ngga tahu Maroko deh...).
Lalu nenek bilang: "Ooo iya..."

Wuaahh, anakku serius juga ya kalo udah ngobrol sama nenek-nenek. Mama sampe tersipu-sipu denger cerita neneknya Mayra.

Note:
(1) Makasih buat mbak Hani atas kiriman postcardnya. Semoga study-nya berjalan lancar, dan jangan lupa jalan-jalan di NZ. Pemandangan alamnya bagus lho... Apalagi kalo ke pulau selatan.
(2) Selamat buat maknyak a.k.a. bubah atas lahirnya Ziraq Ahmad Mubarak. Semoga menjadi anak yang saleh, cerdas dan sehat.
(3) Selamat juga buat Zafar a.k.a Anto dan Melly atas kelahiran putri pertamanya. Semoga menjadi anak yang solehah, cerdas dan sehat. Siapa nih namanya?

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February 12, 2006

Meluluhkan Hati Izza

Setelah lebih 8 bulan tinggal di Jakarta, Izza sudah merasa kerasan dan benar-benar feels at home. Apalagi dia udah mulai sekolah dan kenal beberapa teman. Begitu juga, buat Eyang putri dan Eyang Kakung, kehadiran Izza cukup menambah suasana rumah jadi semarak. Kadang-kadang Izza menjadi teman ngobrolnya Eyang Putri dan bantu nyiapin obat buat Eyang Kakung.

Selain Izza, di rumah juga ada anak yang hampir sebaya dengan Izza, namanya Lastri. Izza senang sekali bisa punya teman di rumah. Sekarang, apa-apa mesti mau sama Lastri. Sayangnya, Izza ngga bisa pergi sekolah bareng Lastri, karena ibunya Lastri merasa anaknya belum cukup mandiri untuk sekolah.

Ini juga yang membuat Izza kadang berat untuk sekolah, kenapa dia harus sekolah? sementara Lastri nggak? Sekali waktu Izza bilang ke mama: "Izza ngga mau sekolah, Izza mau main aja sama Lastri." Begitu juga pas mau belajar ngaji: "Izza ngga mau belajar ngaji, Izza mau main aja sama Lastri."
"Waah.. gimana nih?" pikir mama.

Kebetulan waktu Om Munas pulang ke Jakarta bulan Januari lalu, aku ngirim oleh-oleh buat Izza, dan oleh-oleh itu belum diambil. Sebelum oleh-oleh itu diambil, mama bilang ke Izza:
"Izza, papa bilang papa seneeng deh denger Izza udah pinter ngaji, dan rajin sekolah. Makanya papa kirim oleh-oleh buat Izza."
"Iya ma...?"
"Iya, besok mama mau ambil titipan buat Izza dari papa di Om Munas."
"Kalo gitu, besok Izza mau sekolah dan nanti hari kamis mau ngaji sama Zelda dan Salsabila."

Ternyata benar, belum lagi oleh-olehnya diterima, Izza sudah mau bangun pagi, dan siap-siap ke sekolah, tanpa banyak ngerepotin mama. Bahkan, ketika mama hrs berangkat ngajar pagi-pagi, pas nelpon ke rumah, izza udah berangkat sekolah. Padahal kadang-kadang dia suka terlambat.

Besok harinya, mama ketemu sama Om Munas dan tante Eny buat ngambil titipan dari papa. Sampe di rumah, titipan yang buat Izza dikasih ke Izza. Sebenarnya titipannya sederhana aja, gelang mainan bergambar dora dan ikat rambut yang ada dora dkk, dari Dolarama. Tapi efeknya luar biasa.

"Ma... Izza sedih deh ma..." (maksudnya terharu-red.)
"Kenapa Za...?"
"Soalnya Izza seneng dapat surprise dari papa..."
"Syukurlah kalo Izza seneng. Nanti kalo papa telpon, Izza bilang terima kasih ya..."
"Iya ma..."

Besoknya ketika aku nelpon ke Jakarta:
"Ini dari papanya Izza" kata yang angkat telpon. Trus, dari jauh ada yang bilang: "Izza dulu, Izza dulu ... Izza mau ngomong sama papa."
Lalu Izza ambil telpon dan bilang:
"Pa... terima kasih hadiahnya ya.. Izza seneeeeng sekali. Izza rajin sekolah, belajar ngaji, dan kalo makan suap sendiri. Makasih ya pa..."
Papa: "Waah... Izza anak rajin dan pinter. Nanti kalo Izza tetap rajin dan pinter, papa akan kirim surprise lagi buat Izza."

Begitulah, anak kita ternyata mudah luluh hatinya dengan perhatian dan kasih sayang, meskipun dalam bentuk hal-hal yang kecil. Ini memang salah satu pengaruh motivasi eksternal dalam diri anak yang mempengaruhi perilaku mereka. Inilah yang disebut dengan teori behavioristik.

Ya tidak ada salahnya juga kalo dalam konteks ini teori behavioristik lebih tepat untuk menjelaskan. Apalagi motivasi external di sini, diberikan dalam konteks yang positif. Berbeda misalnya dengan hukuman atau ancaman, yang bisa juga mempengaruhi perilaku anak, tapi tentu akan berefek negatif. Tentu saja motivasi external tidak boleh seterusnya dipelihara. Motivasi ini dimaksudkan hanya sebagai alat untuk menumbuhkan motivasi internal.

DIharapkan, ketika orang sudah menyadari begitu berartinya sesuatu yang dia kerjakan, baik buat dia maupun buat orang lain, maka akan tumbuh kesadaran diri untuk melakukan pekerjaan itu. Sementara, dengan motivasi eksternal, ketika faktor eksternal itu hilang, maka semangat untuk melakukan sesuatupun menjadi berkurang.

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February 09, 2006

The Jakarta Post

Prophet Muhammad cartoons neither clever nor funny
Gwynne Dyer, London

"Without this there would be no Life of Brian," said Roger Koeppel, editor-in-chief of the German newspaper Die Welt, claiming that his decision to republish the Danish cartoons of the Prophet Muhammad that have caused such offense to many Muslims was a free speech issue. "It's at the very core of our culture that the most sacred things can be subjected to criticism, laughter and satire." That is true, but it is not the only truth.

Europeans did not overthrow the power of Christian religious authorities to kill people who disputed their version of the truth just to hand it to Islamic religious authorities several centuries later. There is no contradiction, however, between asserting the right of free speech and condemning those who use it to inflict gratuitous pain on others. Particularly when it is the powerful abusing the vulnerable.

Jyllands-Posten, which originally published the series of 12 cartoons about the Muhammad over four months ago, has the largest circulation of any Danish newspaper. Denmark's Muslim community, only 170,000 strong, is one of the most marginalized and beleaguered in Europe, and the governing coalition includes a large party that is explicitly anti-immigrant and implicitly anti-Muslim. The paper's culture editor, Flemming Rose, claims that the decision to commission 12 cartoonists to lampoon Muhammad was just an attempt to start a debate in Denmark on self-censorship in the media, but he got a lot more than that for his money.

The cartoons were neither clever nor funny, and two of them were blatantly offensive. One depicted Muhammad himself as a terrorist, his turban transformed into a fizzing bomb; the other showed him speaking to a ragged queue of suicide bombers at heaven's gate saying "Stop, stop, we've run out of virgins." They deliberately implied that Islam is a terrorist religion, and Denmark's Muslims quite reasonably demanded an apology. It was still a storm in a very small teacup -- but then the usual suspects got to work.

The newspaper refused to apologize, and Denmark's prime minister, Anders Fogh Rasmussen, sucked up to the anti-immigrant vote by refusing even to meet ambassadors from Muslim countries who wanted to protest about the cartoons. So a group of imams from the Danish Muslim organization Islamisk Trossamfund toured Saudi Arabia and Egypt in November and December with copies of the Jyllands-Posten cartoons, and included some others that were even more offensive and showed Muhammad as a pig and a child molester.

It took a lot of time and effort to build this into a real confrontation, but the Norwegian Christian monthly Magazinet helpfully republished the cartoons in January, Saudi Arabia and Libya withdrew their ambassadors from Copenhagen, and indignation built steadily in Muslim chat-rooms and blogs on the internet. By the end of January Danish flags were being burnt and Danish goods boycotted in the Arab world, and both the Danish prime minister and the editor of Jyllands-Posten went into reverse, publicly apologizing for the offense that had been caused. But it was too late.

Various right-wing newspapers in Europe including Die Welt and France-Soir saw the Danish apologies as a failure to defend free speech, and republished the offending cartoons on their front pages. This gave radical Islamist fringe groups in European countries a pretext to stage angry demonstrations -- the slogans at the London demo called for more terrorist bombs like those of last July and urged the faithful to "Butcher those who mock Islam" -- and the confrontation finally achieved lift-off.

Late last week mobs attacked the European Union's offices in the Gaza Strip and the building housing the Danish embassy in Jakarta. Incensed by text messages saying that Danish right-wingers were planning to burn copies of the Koran (though they didn't, in the end), angry Muslims burned the Danish and Norwegian embassies in Syria and the Danish consulate in Lebanon during the weekend. The idiots, the ideologues and the fanatics on both sides have the bit between their teeth now, and it will take some time for the fury to burn out. But it is important to remember that most people have NOT lost their heads.

Inayat Banglawala, spokesman for the Muslim Council of Britain, said of the demonstrators who had urged more bomb attacks in Britain: "It is time the police acted, but in a way so as not to make them martyrs of the prophet's cause, which is what they want, but as criminals. Ordinary Muslims are fed up with them." The 57-nation Organization of the Islamic Conference warned that "Over-reactions surpassing the limits of peaceful democratic acts...are dangerous and detrimental to the efforts to defend the legitimate case of the Muslim world."

Similarly on the Western side -- you can't really say Christian any more, except for the United States and maybe Poland -- the great majority of newspapers did not publish the cartoons. In Britain, in Poland, in Russia, in Canada and (with one exception) in the United States, none did. It is not self-censorship to refuse to publish these abusive images that link Muslims with terrorism, it is simply common courtesy.

It does not mean that no Western cartoonist may ever use Muhammad again (though they will doubtless be more cautious about the context in future). The ban on images of Muhammad is a Muslim tradition, not a Western one. But we live in a joined-up world where everybody can see everybody else all the time, and being polite to the neighbors is a social obligation. Jyllands-Posten and its emulators were very stupid and very rude.

Gwynne Dyer is a London-based independent journalist.
Source: the Jakarta Post, February 8, 2006

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We are Zuhdi-Nining family:
Papa Zuhdi, Mama Nining, Kakak Izza and Kakak Raisa.
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